Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was developed by Leslie Greenberg and Susan Johnson from Canada in the 1980’s. EFT is an experiential therapy with a strong humanistic framework. Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) combines skills from experiential therapies, humanistic therapies, and some family systems theories, however it is different to the other family therapy in that couples learn the skills to understand and empathise with each other’s emotional responses. EFT and EFFT focus on emotional change, and believes that the only an emotion can change another emotion. This concept was first enunciated by Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677) when he wrote “an emotion can only be controlled or destroyed by another emotion contrary thereto, and with more power for controlling emotion”. This concept has been reinforced by the work of Susan Johnson and Leslie Greenberg using EFFT and EFT which achieve the emotional change by re-experiencing and re-processing emotions from the past or the present that may be impacting on our lives. As Albert Einstein said “Experience is knowledge, everything else is just information”. Hence EFFT believes it is necessary to experience a valid emotional response in order to increase our knowledge of how to empathically respond to our partners and adaptively use emotion in our lives to improve our attachment to our partner. Psychological research studies have shown EFT to be effective in working with grief and loss, depression, anxiety, stress, and many of the emotionally based impediments to a happier life and happier relationships. EFFT has been especially successful with relationship counselling and distinguishes itself in pre-marriage, marriage, couple, and family counselling, as well as working through the devastation of a relationship breakdown should this have occurred already. EFFT incorporates John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, which includes the belief that all humans from the cradle to the grave are seeking a safe, secure, trustworthy relationship to be there to guide, support, and nurture them. Having a safe secure base, will provide each of us with the independence to try new endeavours, explore the world, and take risks, because we know there is someone we can depend on to go back to. Not having a secure safe base, makes us less able to explore the world and less able to take a risk, as we do not have that safe haven to which to retreat. Emotionally Focused Therapy is a scientifically validated process, with many international studies over 30 odd years, verifying its effectiveness. My work includes pre-marriage counselling, family therapy, couple therapy, relationship counselling, and divorce counselling. While - “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without – and know that we cannot live within” (James Baldwin) - fear of losing a relationship can build that mask just as fast. If you feel that fear, then consider what Anaϊs Nin wrote … “and the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”.